Work Thoughts

mark as unread

Things You'd Love to Say at Work, But Can't...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks


How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By


smiley 7.6 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 33,007 times

categories: insults news, politics, government work, school





Save to List


Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel


Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel



User Comments Add Comment

showing 1 - 3 of 3 discussions       sort by: newest

0 thumb down thumb up
by john h. 1+ years ago

1. DAMN! 2. hu? 3. NICE. 4,5,AND6. DAMN! IM TO TIRED TO WASTE THE REST OF MY LIFE! *gun cocked* *gun fired* *brains over walls* *litle bro shits pants*

Reply to john h.'s comment
0 thumb down thumb up
by Kristen C. 1+ years ago

you would be able to use a lot of these for places other than work.

Reply to Kristen C.'s comment
[below viewing threshold, show comment] -4 thumb down thumb up
by c. 1+ years ago

There are more of this stuff. You can watch them at ................................................................................ CatId=12

Reply to c.'s comment
C54AD_Work Thoughts

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact