I hate to be the bearer of sad news so it is with a heavy heart that I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon -- the veteran Pillsbury spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. His longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was needed. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart"cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart. Doughboy had a wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He also had a elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
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