Once upon a time there was a young red neck by the name of Jack. Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmers wife and their daughter Mabel.
One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel bending over to milk the cow. He felt himself become aroused for the first time and shocked, ran to find the farmer to explain this strange phenomena.
Upon finding the farmer he proceded to drop his trousers and whip out his stiff trouser snake much to the horror of the farmer. "Farmer, farmer," Jack cried, "what is happening to my penis?" "Now settle down and put that thing away." said the farmer. "Don't worry about it. It happens to all men." "But i don't like it!" cried Jack. "Well then," said the farmer, "next time it happens just go into the milk shed, get some cow shit and rub it on your dick. It'll go down quick smart, trust me."
The next day Jack was passing by the house when he looked in and saw the farmers wife having a shower. Feeling his member getting hard he rushed into the cow shed, dropped his pants and picked up two handfulls of shit. Just then Mabel walked into the shed. "What are you doing Jack?" asked Mabel. "Well," Jack replied,"I'm gonna rub this shit on my dick to make it go down." "That would be a waste." Mabel said as she laid down on the ground and lifted her skirt. "Why don't you stick it up here?"
So he did. Both handfulls.