- To a man, say "Joe, how have you been?", and carry on a conversation with him like you've known him forever.
- Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.
- Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
- On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
- Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
- Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
- Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
- Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
- Play the harmonica.
- Shadow box.
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Lean against the button panel.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
- Before you push a button, stare at it and say: OK, Raymond... LetBs go!
- Draw a chalk outline of a person on the floor. When the other passengers enter, say, "Poor Danny, he was my best friend."
- Say, "See? That's the noise it made just before it fell last time!"
- Push all the buttons when people get on and say you can't decide which floor to go on.
- While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper,"hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
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