A fat lady rides the bus to work every day. Today she's in some discomfort because she has a pain in her lower abdomen. She finally realizes that its just a tremendous build up of gas from something she ate. The bus is quite crowded and she doesn't know what to do. Then she remembers that pretty soon the bus will run across some railroad tracks and it will rattle and bang and make lots of noise. She will be able to pass this gas and nobody will know.
What she doesn't know is that the bus driver has grown tired of all the noise the bus makes when it rattles and bangs across the railroad tracks. So last night he stayed after work and had the maintenance crew tighten up all the loose bolts and lubricate all the moving parts to quiet down the old bus.
Well, here come the railroad tracks, the fat lady raises up on one cheek and lets it rip. It was one long, loud, juicy sounding fart. The bus didn't rattle and bang like it usually did and now you could hear a pin drop inside the bus as everybody started looking around.
The fat lady thought that maybe no one knew who did it and that she should just act natural. She thought she should just start a conversation with someone as if nothing had happened. She leaned over to the man sitting across the aisle and casually asked him, "Do you have a transfer?" He politely responded, "No I don't, but the next tree we pass I will try and grab you a handful of leaves."