General Tips and Philosophies for Life

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* People wonder why the world is such a mess. Simple. Only fools have children.

* Always carry an umbrella. After all, better safe than soggy.

* Sanity is the worst form of madness. Me? I'm completely crackers.

* The Four Phases of Life -

1. Being looked after by one's parents 2. Looking after one's children 3. Looking after one's parents 4. Being looked after by one's children

* We are all stupid, only some are stupid in a slightly more intelligent way than others.

* Nutmeg is the spice of life.

* Today is the last day of the last bit of your life.

* The cup isn't half empty. It's completely empty. Hey! Who drunk all my tea?

* They say that love is blind: it's also deaf, dumb, and stupid.

* Life is a terminal disease, and I'm not holding out much hope for a cure.

* No news is good news - unless you're a newspaper.

* Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and the whole world laughs at you.

* An engagement ring is a contradiction in terms: if it's engaged, it *won't* ring.

* It's bad luck to be superstitious.


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C4ORU_General Tips and Philosophies for Life

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