These are some of the things I think about when I'm home alone and the TV is broken.

* Why is an orange the only fruit named after its color? Or was the color named after the fruit?

* Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

* Do they have reserved parking for regular people at the Special Olympics?

* Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

* Is a computer virus covered by Medicare?

* How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?

* If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

* In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?

* Where do swear words come from?

* Why do people use the word "irregardless"?

* Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

* Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

* How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?

* Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, "Picture menus available for those who need them"? If you can't read, how can you ask for a picture menu?

* If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?

* Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

* Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

* Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

* Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?

* Why is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?

* Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

* If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?

* Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

* Why do they report power outages on TV? I mean, duh!

* If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?

* If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper sleep with?

* Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

* Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?