1. Pretend to be drunk. Stagger and trip around fragile, valuable items.
2. Get a lot of fake dog poop. When they're not looking, put it all over their front lawn.
3. Pick up something. Look at it suspiciously. Say, "Hey, I had a ________ just like that and it was STOLEN!" It helps if it's a rare valuable item.
4. Look towards the sky and say "I think it's gonna rain any minute."
5. Buy some small inexpensive item and say "Now you can go on that Hawaiian vacation."
6. Put a price tag around your neck and stand on the front lawn in a garden statue pose. Helps if some nudity is involved.
7. Use the dishes as ashtrays.
8. If anyone picks up something, grab it away shouting "I'm buying that!" Afterward, put it back and leave.
9. Bring a bag of confetti. If anyone buys something, throw a handful in the air.
10. Bring a bunch of friends. Say "You don't mind if my kleptomania encounter group looks around, do you?"
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