remember me

[new member] [forgot password]

View:
  • G
  • PG
  • PG-13
  • R
change

Search Filter:

The Most Dangerous Snake in the World

mark as unread

NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit (spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet). Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.

CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.

SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.

SEARCHING FOR ANTI-VENOM: 1. Place four fingers of the right hand around the neck of the reptile, with the thumb in the front. 2. Grip firmly and move the hand in an upwards and downwards motion. 3. This will result in the snake becoming highly aggressive, very rigid and start spitting. The time taken for this milking process depends entirely on the milker and the last time the snake attacked. 4. Once milked, the snake should be harmless for about 20 minutes.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 7.3 R

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 99,300 times

categories: sex, sexuality

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

C3R0O_The Most Dangerous Snake in the World

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

2hE7Vbh46ISid8IXHvZomM
0