Basic Bar Terminology

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1. "YOU GET THIS ONE, NEXT ROUND IS ON ME." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.)

2. "I'LL GET THIS ONE, NEXT ONE IS ON YOU." (Happy hour is about to end... drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)

3. "HEY, WHERE IS THAT GIRL FRIEND OF YOURS?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to have sex with your girl friend.)

4. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL." (FEMALE) (I'm easy.)

5. "I'LL HAVE A GLASS OF WHITE ZINFANDEL." (MALE) (I'm gay.)

6. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (FEMALE) (I'm really easy.)

7. "I'LL HAVE A WHITE RUSSIAN." (MALE) (I'm really gay.)

8. "I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (FEMALE) (You're paying more attention to your friends than to me.)

9. I DON'T FEEL WELL, LET'S GO HOME." (MALE) (I'm horny.)

10. "WHO'S GOT THE NEXT ROUND?" (I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)

11. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO MALE) (Get the hell out of the way.)

12. "EXCUSE ME." (MALE TO FEMALE) (I am going to grope you now and blame it on the crowd.)

13. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO MALE) (Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of my way.)

14. "EXCUSE ME." (FEMALE TO FEMALE) (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You're certainly not all that, Miss Thing, coming in here dressed like a Pasadena hoochie momma...And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

15. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP?" (What's cheap?)

16. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (MALE TO FEMALE) (I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)

17. "EVER TRY A BODY SHOT?" (FEMALE TO MALE) (If this is how wild I am in the bar, can you imagine what I'll do to you in bed?)

18. "THAT PERSON LOOKS REALLY FAMILIAR." (Did I sleep with him/her?)

19. "CAN I JUST GET A GLASS OF WATER?" (FEMALE) (I am really annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)

20. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (FEMALE) (I'm 19.)

21. "I DON'T HAVE MY ID ON ME." (MALE) (I don't have a license since I got pulled over by the cops for being stoned after my last visit here.)

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C3Q4R_Basic Bar Terminology

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