Garage Sale Gibes

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1. Demand to see something that's not out for sale. When they go to look for it, leave.

2. Ask for a 90% reduction in the marked price.

3. Walk around criticizing the quality, condition, color, size, quantity, price and anything else about the merchandise. Leave saying "I've seen better junk at the landfill!"

4. Spend a lot of time picking up, fondling and walking around with a bunch of stuff. When you get their hopes high enough, put it all back and leave.

5. When not observed, switch or remove the price tags.

6. When you see a sale, go home, round up all the neighborhood kids and dogs, bring them to the sale and let them loose. Stay in the car and watch the fun.

7. When you see a sale, drive ever so slowly by. Go up the block, turn around and drive sloowwllyy by again. Repeat a dozen times.

8. Ask for food and drink.

9. Ask to use the bathroom. If they refuse, urinate on their shrubbery.

10. Act like your lost. Ask for directions. Pretend you don't understand. Leave cursing.

11. Pass 2 or 3 hours in inane conversation. Leave without making a purchase.

12. Walk all over in their neighbors yards. Peek at the sale through the shrubbery. Ring the neighbors doorbells. Ask "Where's the garage sale?"

13. Pretend like you're going to buy a lot of valuable or fragile items. Make them wrap them very carefully. After this say "I've changed my mind" and leave.

14. Picket the sale with a sign that reads "Garage Sales Unfair to Retail Merchants"

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C3P9V_Garage Sale Gibes

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