Wit and Wisdom Of Homer Sipmson

mark as unread

These are some of Homer Simpson's quote from Season 1 & 2

Season 1

It says it's for dogs, but she can't read. I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb. Unlike most of you, I am not a but. When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! As far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear. And they don't like it. I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us who roller-skate and smoke cigars? I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store could I?

Season 2

It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here... Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right-no the duty-to make a complete ass of myself. Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me? You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. I told you. My baby beat me up. Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. And anyone can be tooted? English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. A hundred bucks! For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha-malangelo?

Rate

How funny is this joke, video, picture?

Submitted By

Stats

smiley 5.8 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 3,204 times

categories: news, politics, government

close

Permalink

Permalink:

close

Save to List

Loading...

Personal Lists

Create New Personal List

List Name:

Allow Others to View/Subscribe:

save cancel

saving...

Community Lists

Create New Community List

List Name:

save cancel

saving...

joke

User Comments Add Comment

showing 0 - 0 of 0 discussions       sort by: newest

C3ORT_Wit and Wisdom Of Homer Sipmson

Advertise | About Us | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Agent | Parents' Guide | Contact Funny.com

50laZ7JVNvmstMTHjyvjP0
0