These are some of Homer Simpson's quote from Season 1 & 2
It says it's for dogs, but she can't read. I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb. Unlike most of you, I am not a but. When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! As far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear. And they don't like it. I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us who roller-skate and smoke cigars? I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store could I?
It's a fixer-upper. What's the problem? We get a bunch of priests in here... Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right-no the duty-to make a complete ass of myself. Oh, cruel fate. Why do you mock me? You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. I told you. My baby beat me up. Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. And anyone can be tooted? English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. A hundred bucks! For a comic book? Who drew it, Micha-malangelo?
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