Redneck Jedi

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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...

- You've ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." - Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. - You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. - At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. - You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. - You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. - You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. - The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. - Wookies are offended by your B.O. - You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. - You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. - Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside...it'll be a hoot." - You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. - You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. - You think Han Solo would look better in flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest. - You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. - You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. - Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. - You ever fell in love with your sister. - You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees." - You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. - You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with red wood deck. - You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene. - In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right." - If the man you're looking for is named Billy-Bob Kenobi - If you ever used C-3PO or R2D2 to jumpstart your X-Wing. - If you ever tied deer to your landspeeder. - Whenever you blow up a Death Star, you can't help but say "Yeeee Haaawww!" - Your visit to Dagobah was just an excuse to get in some good fishin' and wear your waders. - You have a John Deere flight helmet. Or a Caterpillar one. Or both. - You understand how being in zero-g can ruin a good chaw. (Spitting's a lot less fun, for one thing) - When your father cuts off your arm with a light saber, the first thought that runs through your head is "Dang! How am I gonna use my shotgun *now*?" - You've actually said "Han... I *love* you, man!" in an attempt to get his beer. - You think the Empire's just a bunch of Commie Fay-gits, and we oughta just blow 'em all up and the Force sort 'em out. - You're a member of the NLA (National Lightsaber Association.) and have a rack on the back of your landspeeder and/or x-wing fighter and/or Banta. - You can moon your buddies without crashing your X-wing. - Before R2D2 can get into your x-wing, you've gotta clear the empty beer cans out of the back. - Not only do you know what an Ewok tastes like, but you know how to skin one, and can recognize their "spoor".

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smiley 6.4 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 9,483 times

categories: celebrities, entertainment, people ethnic, race, international

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C3AIW_Redneck Jedi

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