A man is driving along the interstate out of Maine. He's got two hours to get to an important business conference in New Hapmshire. He's really hungry so he pulls over to the nearest fast food joint he sees.
He orders a huge meal from the drive-through, and continues on his way. After a little while, nature calls. The man, not wanting to "go" in the forest, looks around desperately for a building with a bathroom. He's really got to take a crap. Suddenly, he sees this small, run-down old church. He thinks "Great, they'll have a bathroom."
He pulls over, and runs into the lobby. It's deserted, and he can't see a bathroom anywhere. He runs into the sanctuary. He sees a praying woman.
"Where's the bathroom?" He asks.
"Shh! Down the hall, third right." So the man runs down the hall. In his pain, however, he takes the third left, instead. He rips the door open. It's a hole in the wall! He thinks, Oh well, it's better than nothing.
In the basement below, a preacher is praying at his private alter.
"What will god give us today?" The preacher holds up his hand, reaching up to heaven through his heaven-hole in the wall.
"Oh. Well, if that's how he's feeling today, so be it. What will god say to us today?" He streches his ear up to heaven.
"Damn it, where's the toilet paper?"