These two buddies were out at the bar having a drink talking when one of the guys say, "You know when I go home after being out with the guys I turn off the engine and coast into the driveway, take my shoes off and tip toe up the stairs. Then I quietly sneak into bed...but it never fails, every time my wife wakes up and gives me shit for coming home too late."
His buddy replies, "Really? I screech into the driveway, slam the door, run upstairs, jump in bed, put my hand on my wifes ass and say...how about a blowjob honey? And she is asleep every time."