10. Did you get any under the tree? 9. I think your balls are hanging too low. 8. Check out Rudolph's honker! 7. Santa's sack is really bulging. 6. Lift up your skirt so I can get a clean breath. 5. Did you get a piece of fruitcake? 4. I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy. 3. From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real. 2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?
And the No. 1 Christmas phrase that sounds dirty but isn't:
1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
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categories: holidays, vacations