1. I, as a dedicated wiener, pledge to be the wussiest I can, but always win.
2. Through the course of my journey, I will never act cool.
3. I pledge to effect the lives of everyone I meet, but only in a minute way.
4. No one will stop me from completing my mission.
5. If I become romantically involved with a woman, I will quickly forget about it. It's way to nonsensical for some beautiful buxom women to fall for me.
6. I will never have sex! Ever!