"Sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy."
"I gave my cat a bath the other day...He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..."
"What? You been keeping records on me? I wasn't so bad! How many times did I take the Lord's name in vain? One million and six? Jesus Ch---"
"In French, oeuf means egg, cheese is fromage...it's like those French have a different word for everything."
"I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress."
"I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was...an arctic region covered with ice."
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