A man went to confession and said, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." The priest asked if he would like to confess his sins, and the man replied that he had used the "F-word" over the weekend.
The priest said, "Oh, okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."
The man replied that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word." The priest sighed and told him to continue.
"Well, father, I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church."The priest said, "And you got upset over that and swore?"
The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore. On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well left into the trees."
The priest said, "And that's when you swore."
The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't. When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green. However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree."The priest asked, "Is that when you said the 'F-word'?"
The man replied, "No, because an eagle then flew by and caught the squirrel in it's sharp talons and flew away."
The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?" The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole."
The priest screamed, "Don't tell me you missed the fucking putt!!!"