Various quotes

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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail...Kitten On Fire...

I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious!

My roomate got a pet elephant and lost it. It's in the room somewhere.

I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there.

My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.

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submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 7,574 times

categories: news, politics, government

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C1PUV_Various quotes

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