One night, far far away, a ball was announced in honor of the Prince returning home from a crusade. Every eligible maid was to attend. Cinderella was thrilled! She asked her step-mother if she may go.
Step-Mother replied, "Hell No! You got work to do you dirty little hussie!"
Cinderella was crushed and ran outside and cried! Moments later a bright light appeared and a ravishing little old lady dressed in white and blue.
"Who the Hell are you?" Asked Cinderella with tears dripping off her pale cheeks.
"I'm your Fairy God Mother! And I'm here to help you!" Replied the shapely woman.
"Really?" Cinderella asked with hope. "How are you gonna do that?"
With a tap of her want she made a beautiful coach with radiant silver horses appear.
"Holy Shit!" Cried Cinderella in awe.
"That's not half of it!" And with another tap of her wand she made a very handsome coachman appear.
"But you're missing something. My dress! I need a dress with some pumps and a necklace. Oh, and some make-up. And maybe some jewelry, please!" Cinderella said.
"No problem!" And with another tap of her want Cinderella was dressed in the most extravagant clothes and fine jewelry.
"Oh how can I ever repay you?" Cinderella pleaded.
"Well, don't be too happy. There is one flaw. If you're not home my midnight, I'll turn your pussy into a pumpkin."
"Oh, I'll be sure to be home on time! I Swear!"
And off she went into the coach and off to the ball. When she arrived there she spotted a very handsome guy. She introduced herself and danced with him for half the night. It was getting to be late and Cinderella was very disappointed to have to leave, but knowing the consequences, she asked to excuse herself. "....But by the way, what's your name?" Cinderella asked.
"Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater." The handsome man replied.
"Hmm....now that I think about it, I don't need to be home this early..."