- Your twin sister forgets your birthday
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You call the suicide prevention hotline, and they put you on hold.
- You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
- Your income tax refund check bounces.
- It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.
- The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
- You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
- You put both contacts into the same eye.
- Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
- Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
- You have to borrow from you Visa card to pay your Mastercard.
- Nothing you own is actually paid for.
- Everyone loves your driver's license picture, but you think it looks awful.
- The health inspector condemns your office coffee maker.
- People think you're 40 and you're only 25.
- When your doctor tells you that you are in fine health--for someone twice your age.
- You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight, and when you get home, you find a sandwich on your front porch.
- You open your briefcase for the big meeting, and find nothing in it but your 5-year-old's coloring pages.
- You are actually looking forward to sitting down and enjoying the junk e-mail sent to you.
- You look in the car you just locked, and notice the keys hanging.
- Your secretary tells you that a film crew from some show named 60 minutes is waiting in your office.
-The first clothes you pull out of the wash load with your new red blouse have a strangely pink hue.
- You call your voice mail for messages, and they're from your doctor, your mechanic, and the IRS.
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