A man was driving home after a hard days drinking in a English country pub. He was doing 80 mph down a narrow lane when he saw two Welsh men walking up the lane towards him. They saw him coming towards them at high speed and tried to get out of his way. Unfortunatly for them the driver decided that they would make good targets. He aimed his car directly at them and BANG, he hit them. The first was thrown over a nearby hedge into a farmer's field, the second smashed through his windscreen.
Thirty seconds later a police car turned up at the scene. The police man got out of his car and asked the driver what had happened. He tried to explain that he had only been doing 30 mph and had tried to avoid the Welsh men but they jumped out in front of his car and he could not avoid them. The police man was having none of this and asked again what had happened. The driver then replied that he had been doing 50mph and had a couple of pints to drink. He had seen the Welsh men but only too late and he had tried but failed to avoid them. The police man was still suspisious, the driver was stinking of alcahol and sluring his words, so he asked again.
This time the driver said that he had had about 10 pints, been doing 80 mph, saw the Welsh men and meant to hit them.
The police man replied that he would do the man who had smashed through the windscreen for breaking and entering and the man in the field for leaving the scene of the crime and let the driver go.