Postcard From One Redneck To Another

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Dear Cleatus,

I'm writin' this real slow cause I know you cain't read very fast. We don't live where we did when you left. We read in the paper that most accidents happen within 10 miles of home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you our new address cause the last family that lives here took the house numbers with them so they would have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day mama put four shirts in, pulled the chain and we ain't seen them since.

It only rained here twice this week. Three days the first time and five days the second time.

I know it is cold where you are so we're sending you coat. Mama said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on it, so we cut them off and put'em in the pockets.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes!

My sister had a baby this morning. I ain't heard whether it was a boy or girl so I do not know whether I am an aunt or an uncle.

Uncle Juhn fell in a big whiskey vat. When they tried to pull him out he fought them off so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of my friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving, the other two was in the back. The driver go out' cause he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they couldn't get the tailgate down.

More next time, nuthin' much is happenin' round here.


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smiley 6.8 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

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C1BA_Postcard From One Redneck To Another

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