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Bathroom rhymes and graffiti (Part 5)

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-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 90 =--------------------------------------

The following are sort of traditional in mens restrooms in the U.K.

Life's like a pubic hair on toilet bowl - you soon get pissed off.

Written above head height in the urinals: If you can piss this far, you should join the fire brigade.

If mens brains were as big as their balls, there would be a lot less writing on toilet walls.

Also written on the urinals: Remember - more than three shakes is a wank.

One more from the urinals: No matter how much you shake your peg, the last drop always runs down your leg.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 91 =--------------------------------------

Don't throw cigarette butts in the urinal, as it makes them soggy and hard to light.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 92 =--------------------------------------

Written very low on the left wall:

If you read this, you're pissing on your right shoe.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 93 =--------------------------------------

Here's one that had a lot of additions to it, which I'll try to represent with little arrows. I hope it comes across clear enough. It's a good example of people reading things differently (mind you, the original graffiti was somewhat sloppy, allowing for the subsequent "discussion"). Oh yeah, it starts with "A guy goes...".

Is that an "i" or an "o"? ___ | ___Is that a "u" or an "a"? <--I can't believe how blind you are | A guy goes to lunch with his mother what he means to say is "pass the butter" but what comes out is "you f&#&*ed up my life you bitch"

It all comes from the Crown & Anchor in Austin, Tx. I hope you can follow it. It's pretty funny when you're there (and drunk).

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 94 =--------------------------------------

In the computer center mens bathroom:

For a Good Time - Email mac100s@oduvm

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 95 =--------------------------------------

The MAIN thing is to keep the MAIN thing the Main thing.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 96 =--------------------------------------

Seen in the mens' room in a women's dorm at USC:

Just think of the miles of Fallopian tubes that surround you that you won't be able to get near.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 97 =--------------------------------------

Stamp out graffiti.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 98 =--------------------------------------

From the men's room of The Hole In The Wall, Austin, Tx, 1993:

Milk the cow Feed the hen My life is yours You kill

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 99 =--------------------------------------

In the Intercultural Center on the first floor, on the floor between two stalls, it reads:

Tap foot. If other person taps back, kneel under for j.o. or b.j.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 100 =--------------------------------------

My current favorite bathroom graffiti (besides the obligatory wallborn personal ads penned by gays) is a recent exchange posted on the wall of the first floor men's room in Perkins Library. The "bait" reads "Fight for the rights of the pansexual." After the usual bible-beater remarks about how homosexuality is a sin, and all pansexuals will therefore burn in hell, there was a string of humorous responses. The first was:

Does that mean you fuck a little guy with hooves and a flute?

They followed:

or does he fuck you? and what role, if any, is played by the flute? It plays an octave, albeit minor, role.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 101 =--------------------------------------

A scrawler had written:

Don't try to decribe the ocean if you've never seen it. (a Jimmy Buffett quote) to which someone else replied:

It's no larger than the space between your ears.

This was followed by:

You too, my friend; you're so deep you're drowning.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 102 =--------------------------------------

In the third floor bathroom of the Student Center, one squatter scrawled:

Insanity is to art what garlic is to salad.

to which someone replied:

Waiter, there's too much garlic in my salad.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 103 =--------------------------------------

Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled:

I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 104 =--------------------------------------

In days of old When men were bold And toilets weren't invented Men left their load Upon the road And walked away contented

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 105 =--------------------------------------

In days of old When knights were bold And paper wasn't invented They'd wipe their ass On a clump of grass And walk away contented

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 106 =--------------------------------------

In days of old When knights were bold And ladies weren't invented The knight drilled holes In telegraph poles And had to be contented

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 107 =--------------------------------------

In days of old When knights were bold And condoms weren't invented. They tied a sock, Around their cock And babies were prevented.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 108 =--------------------------------------

In days of old When knights were bold And women weren't particular. They lined them up Against the wall And did it perpendicular.

-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 109 =--------------------------------------

I saw this in Chester Street, a gay bar in Champaign, IL. In the men's bathroom, inside of a stall, it said "Joe eats pussy".

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C15FF_Bathroom rhymes and graffiti (Part 5)

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