I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night.
You are so unthankful. I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living. Fool! You are mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you. I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life.
With all of the good times we've had ... We have been watching dirty movies, cursing people out, partying, stealing, lying, hypocriting, fornicating, overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, backstabbing people, disrespecting adults and those in leadership position, NO respect for the church, bad attitudes: SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you.
I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible. I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA HA HA You make me sick. Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older. I need new blood. So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, drink alcoholic beverages, cheat, gamble, gossip, and fornicate. Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that.
Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you ... IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.
P.S. And if you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.