In a fancy restaurant insist the waiter tell you the names of all the fish in the fish tank.
Ask for a bib.
Ask for a seat for your "imaginary" friend.
Growl constantly and address everyone as "matey."
At a fast food restaurant ask for the Soup-du-Jour.
Invoke 'the coustomer is always right' rule.
In a foriegn restaurant ask to have all the food on the menu translated one by one.
Bring your own menu.
Stare at a neighbors food until they say something and then reply "oh don't mind me I am looking for my contact."
Insist that your chair is missing a leg.
Take all of the pepermint candies.
Paint a picture of your meal in watercolors since 'it looks so pretty.'
At a fast food restaurant comment on the quality and freshness of the meat, we all know it but try not to think about it.
See just how fast you can get the manager over to your table.
Burp the National Anthem, call anyone who objects unpatriotic.
Yell 'Oh not now!' and make a dash for the bathroom.
Make obvious attempts to trip the waiters, snicker constantly.
You cant make up your mind between smoking or non-smoking.
Very properly, take out a hankerchief and spent the next 15 minutes blowing on it as hard as possible.
Two Words: Strip Poker!
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