21 ways to survive the dullest of church

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- Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests

- See if a yawn really is contagious

- Slap your neighbour. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the bishop

- Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs

- Listen for the speakers to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.

- Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front

- Using church notice-sheets or newcomers cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

- Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.

- Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the lavatory.

- Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favourite hymn.

- If the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.

- Pretend to be 4 years old

- Try to indicate to the bishop that his fly is undone

- By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt inside out.

- Try to raise one eyebrow

- Crack your knuckles

- Think about your chin for an entire minute

- Twiddle your thumbs

- Twiddle your neighbours thumbs

- Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice

- Practice smiling insincerely


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smiley 6.6 PG

submitted: 1+ years ago

viewed: 8,570 times

categories: ethnic, race, international religion





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by Taylor L. 1+ years ago

Yeah, these things are fine in other places, but really? I find it offensive, and I know someone on here's gonna say "it's just a joke" or "get a sense of humor" or something, and I'd like to say that someone tells me I'm funny every day, but this makes me mad. If someone does any of this in church, I'll personally escort them out of mass. Thank you. (:

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C10YT_21 ways to survive the dullest of church

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